Mask that we wear!

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  I got a call from a close friend yesterday. We greeted, enquired about each other’s health. Giggled, joked. When we both start talking, you can sense the excitement.

 She is my best friend for 10 years. After College, we vowed to always be there for each other & meet every weekend. But as years passed, life happened.  Earlier where it was every weekend, it reduced to once a month and later talking only on phone. But yes, WhatsApp chatting was consistent. After my marriage, that also substantially reduced. Maybe I got busy into a new phase of life or she thought she should not bother me by calling every now and then.

 So, when I saw her call, I was beyond happy, I wanted to tell her so many things & hear a lot of things. She sounded so happy & was enthusiastically lending an ear to my sweet nothings. After 15 minutes or so, I stopped my jabbering. I enquired about her life, to which she said, “You tell me about yourself more. Mine is the same old story”.

 I coaxed her to talk but she was hesitant. I casually asked her about her relationship and that was it, the bull’s eye was hit. There was a silence like the kind which gives a deafening effect. She was going through a break up & problems at work front & pressure from family, relatives for marriage. Result was she broke down and started crying. She was inconsolable. One after other she told everything that had happened & was happening to her. She even was seeking help from a counsellor. I, on the other hand felt as if a heavy object had landed on my head. I was totally unaware about the problems she was facing. The way she was crying, I am sure it was bottled up since long. I consoled her, cheered her up. Later, my mind, all through the night was preoccupied by unwelcome questions which needed introspection.

 Why did she put a happy front whenever we had a chat on WhatsApp? Why did she not open up about these things daily? Why did she wait for a long time to call me? Why did she not tell me earlier? Did she not trust me? Did she think I will judge her?

 Why do we shy away from telling our loved ones about our sorrows? I need you to listen to me. Hold me close and tell me that everything's going to be alright. I don’t want to fight alone. We are in it together. Why don’t we unmask ourselves? Why do we shy away from feeling, expressing and becoming vulnerable?

 I also have wiped my tears on my own sometimes, even though I have a loving, caring support system. Sometimes I hide my feelings because I am also not comfortable being vocal about my vulnerabilities. I fear judgement & misunderstandings.

 The reason people visit psychologists, faith healers, counsellors, tarot card reader, astrologers is because we are too uncomfortable expressing our true feelings with our near and dear ones. We fear they will view us as weak, vulnerable. But we are so comfortable sharing our deepest fears, emotions and concerns with strangers.

 Everyday everyone is wearing a mask. You look at them and you feel what at bliss to have such life. But what if it’s just a façade?  Grass is always greener on the other side. Every person is fighting a battle every day, every minute. Depression has nothing to do with success, fame, looks, financial status. It just is so universal these days. 

Key Takeaways:-

---Check on your loved ones every now and then. A happy face might be hiding sadness.

---Don’t compare other people’s reel life with your real life.

---Its ok to not be ok.

---Empathize with the other person's situation, mostly people hide true feelings due to fear of getting judged.